waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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