Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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