And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
