I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize