I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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