My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
