apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
