While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
