We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
