Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
