Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
