FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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