then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
