absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
