Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
