and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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