I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
