brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
