Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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