You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
