is your mom at the bar?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
