Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize