Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
