I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
