you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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