i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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