Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
