Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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