i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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