I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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