I just threw up on my dentist
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
