I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
