I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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