Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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