I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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