to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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