then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Found the puke drawer
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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