I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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