i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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