yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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