debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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