found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
