he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize