Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
