Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
