dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My liver just had a heart attack.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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