Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
