Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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