She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
