how can u be prego again
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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