so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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