From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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