Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
sarcasm needs its own font
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
