She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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