o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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