Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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