So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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