Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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