Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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