so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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