Pappa wants mamma naked
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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