My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize