He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize