I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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