Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
