Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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