Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize