Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize