check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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