I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
