What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
