Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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