Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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